On Men and Women

This blog gets a lot of traffic via search engines, something I'm sure must be true of most blogs out there. Because I have written a few times about male/female relationships, it comes as no surprise to me that individuals seeking information that would help them understand the opposite sex might end up on my blog. Gleaned from just the last couple of days, and listed below, are just a few of the search strings that landed the seeker at The Atavist:

• what every man wants in a woman
• man wants a woman to need him
• male remembers things about a woman
• we're both looking for something

. . . and numerous other variations on the theme.

In the interest of helping these poor souls believe that they are making some progress in their understanding of their lovers or spouses or stalking targets, I offer here some additional insights into what makes both men and women 'tick.' I am as much an expert on the subject as anyone else, because I too, like other commentators, simply guess at what might be true and then count on the fact that my ponderings are written in this medium to make them official.

Ready? I'll take whatever characteristics or behaviours pop into my mind, and I'll tell you my opinion about whether they might be predominately male or female. If you're looking for order or some sort of cohesion in my list, there isn't any.

• Anger: This is a male thing. We get angry at stuff. Then we settle down and things revert to normal, usually very quickly.
• Fury: Definitely female. Why waste time being simply angry when you can work up a good fury instead. It lasts longer, is more intense, and is harder to overlook.
• Frustration: Male. We don't like it when things don't work, don't move, don't co-operate. We like progress to be made and when there is none, we get frustrated.
• Acceptance: Male. When we realize that we can't change it, or her, we are more likely to accept things the way they are. We may not like it, but the male approach is usually to tough it out.
• Tears: Female. Women cry. Sometimes, tears bring out the protective side of men and we then try to make things better for our female counterparts. We find tears unsettling. When we feel that tears are being used to manipulate us, we get pissed off.
• Back-stabbing: I know that men are mostly thought of as ruthless, even vindictive, in business and commerce, but in the arena of personal relationships, women win (lose?) hands down. In general, women will turn on their friends, lovers, husbands, family, quicker and with more energy than males.
• Puns: Men. If there is a bad pun hanging around, you can bet it came from a male. If there is a risque element to it, there is no doubt whatever.
• Yelling: Male. Men get angry. When they get angry they are likely to yell. There is a critical mass of words that the average male will yell and when that is reached, the yelling stops.
• Screaming: Female. Females scream not only when there is a mouse in the room, but for emphasis and even for attention. The more emphasis that is needed, the louder is the screaming. There appears to be no limit to the number of words that can be screamed by an angry woman.
• Memory: Female. Females have much better memory than males. They remember everything that has ever happened to them, everything that has ever been said to them, and by whom.
• Memory (misuse of): Female. Women remember all the things that someone did to them, didn't do for them, said to them or didn't say to them, and these memories may be dredged up at any time, often to be used as evidence to bolster their position in a current argument.
• Loyalty: Male. Men tend to stick by (and stick up for) their friends and relatives more often than do women.
• Reason: Male. Men tend to think things through more logically, except when it comes to women, sex, cars and sports.
• Emotion: Female. Women do things because they feel right and tend to empathize with others more so than men.
• Sarcasm: Female. If you can remember the most sarcastic thing you have ever heard anyone say, there is a pretty good chance that it was uttered by a woman. Sarcasm is the equivalent of hitting below the belt when used in an argument.
• The Big Picture: Male. Men think big, even if they never actually act on their dreams. Bigger is better to most males.
• The Little Picture: Female. Women are the master of the detail. Want something complicated done? Give it to a woman. They will not only do it right, but find details that would never occur to a man.
• Pouting: It's a tie, sort of. If it has anything to do with sex, it will be a male. If it is anything else, anything at all, it will be a female.
• Confusion: Female. A male will rarely admit to confusion, even if he can't tell right from left, up from down, or his ass from his elbow. A woman will more readily admit confusion and will at least be honest about it.
• Demonstrative Behaviour: Female. Women have no problem with hugging or kissing in public, whereas men are often embarrassed by such behaviour.
• Inappropriate Demonstrative behaviour: Guess.
• Laconic: Male. Most men economize with their spoken words. It saves their vocal chords for the whooping and hollering at sports events or monster truck rallies.
• Voluble: Female. If it's worth saying once, many women think it is worth saying twice and thrice and more.

Now . . . remember that this is an opinion blog. My opinion. If you disagree, I would love to read your take on the items I have listed and on any others you can think of. I think it would be fun to read female opinions, in particular. Do you agree? Disagree? Why?