It is a beautiful day today, in London, Ontario, Canada. It is neither too hot nor too cold. Soft breezes blow and the sun is shining. What could be better? It is a perfect day to be happy.
I am a pretty happy guy, generally, whatever the weather. Although I am often puzzled, chagrined, frustrated, bemused and amused by what goes on around me, I am nevertheless happy. I don't depend on things or events or people to be happy, I depend on myself.
I love life. Whatever the day brings, I am happy to be alive, happy to have my family, happy to be at peace with myself. If something happens during the day that I don't understand, I accept it as a minor annoyance and carry on. If something happens that promises to be a major annoyance if I don't do something about it, I take steps to fix the problem or to remove myself from the situation, and balance is restored once again.
I believe with all my heart that we, individually, are the sole architects of our state of mind, and that if things get us down and destroy our equilibrium, we have only ourselves to blame. Sometimes, steps we have to take to improve things are major, and the results will be unpleasant and stressful temporarily. After some time, the unpleasantness will pass and things will be better for us. On occasion, we might decide that the cure is worse than the problem, and we might elect to leave things as they are. That might be a perfectly acceptable choice, if we make it ourselves, but we certainly will have no right afterwards to complain or whine about the situation. We will have made our choice and it is up to us to live with it.
One of the things that I can't understand, as I cruise around in the blogosphere and read posts by many fascinating people, is how we each choose to deal with things, unpleasant things in particular. Human beings, pushed to the wall, are pretty resilient and resourceful, and when it comes to 'do or die,' they generally do. Then, having taken some sort of remedial action, things improve. The improvement might not be dramatic, but the new state of affairs will be better than the old.
Many of the blogs I read are written by individuals who have seen considerable trauma in their lives. In most cases, the worst is over and the present situation, while not necessarily perfect, is acceptable. Some individuals recognize that while they might have received emotional and moral support, and help of some sort from friends or family, they themselves had to be in the right frame of mind, have the right attitude, have the perseverance and determination, to succeed. This one very important factor cannot come from outside oneself, it can only come from within. And, absent that factor and the components which drive it, things will not improve, no matter how much help is forthcoming from others.
I have puzzled over why some people will not acknowledge their inner strength and prefer to believe that without everyone else, anyone else, the community at large, whatever, they are doomed to fail. But while I puzzle over it, I don't agonize over it. It is not up to me to mold others to be like me anymore than I would allow them to try and remake me in their image. Live and let live. Laissez-faire.
Or, as John Lennon famously said in a song: "Whatever gets you through the night, it's all right, it's all right."