My son said something to me a few days ago, in a moment of frustration, that I found to be over the top and hurtful. I asked him how he could say such a thing, and he responded by saying "You have nerves of steel and it wouldn't really bother you anyway."
He's right. I do have nerves of steel. I also have mental context filters which weed out nonsense spewed from various sources, including my own son, and the bottom line is that I usually don't let things bother me much. But I do chew on things, so to speak, analyze them, try to make sense of them.
I have long realized though that if someone outside of my immediate family says something hurtful or does something to me that causes problems of some sort, I can easily shrug it off and carry on. I can't control these people (nor do I have any desire to do so) and whatever they do or say, however insane or silly it might be, is not worth even a moment of concern or frustration. When someone very close to me says or does something, I do pay a little more attention.
Do we all do that? I think so. I think we hold those close to us up to higher standards than others. And if we don't do so, we should. If my son is guilty of some foolishness, I wonder where I failed to teach him that that particular behaviour is unacceptable.
My son felt remorse, apologized, and I forgave him. That is loving and civil behaviour. I wonder, sometimes, where the civil behaviour is in much of what goes on in the world around us. Everyone hates everyone else, or at least some targeted group that is, in their minds, responsible for all the ills in the world. People are blinded by rhetoric, by propaganda, by bullshit. The political right and left spend so much time assaulting each other verbally that it is a wonder that anything ever gets done. What is it, in the human condition, that causes all this irrational behaviour?
We all need to mind our own business. We all need to forgive each other for transgressions, real and imagined, of the past. We need to start a clean slate. If we don't do these things, we are not part of the solution. We are part of the problem.