Monday, March 20, 2006

It's Spring. Time for the Birds and Bees

It's March 20. This afternoon, it will officially be spring. I can't really say that it has been the worst winter on record here in Ontario, but I am very happy that it is over. It's still pretty cold outside, but at least the sun is shining. I've even seen a robin in my back yard. This morning, I watched a male blackbird strutting around, puffing himself up to impress a nearby female. I guess he mustn't have had the blackbird equivalent of a million dollar bank account and a shiny BMW to entice her, because she shunned him.

Or maybe she just didn't like his politics.

The whole mating thing baffles me, whether among the birds and bees or us humans. Much of it doesn't make a lot of sense. I guess that is part of what makes it exciting. We have a need to explore and to experience the unknown. It sometimes takes us a long time to figure it all out. Then, just when we think we have at least some of the answers, it doesn't matter much any more. We're old.

Walking around in the shopping mall or on the streets of London, I sometimes wonder why some of the old grannies appear to be giving me the once over. Does every woman have a thing for younger men these days? Then I realize that the women are likely younger than I am. I don't know whether to be flattered or depressed.

Spring is the time of love, or so they say. With a son who is taking more of an interest in girls these days, I'm afraid that I have a certain amount of cynicism about matters of the heart. I am trying to prepare him for this very important phase of his life and certainly don't want him to experience any heartache. Neither, though, do I want him to become so cynical and blasé about relationships that the joys of love will be lost on him. In any event, I can't live his life for him. I can only advise him for as long as he still listens to me.

He does still listen to me. I am grateful for that. The only problem is that, in matters of the heart, it isn't the same as talking about investments, politics, history, philosophy or religion or even some of the silly things that Daddy has done in his life. It is intensely personal. And the choices he will make will really matter.

Can something this important really be entrusted to me? Sure. Why not? When he gets to be an adult, he will likely be just as clueless as I am today, regardless of what I will have tried to teach him. He will wonder if and how he will be able to help his own children make the right choices.

I'll be watching. Maybe I'll learn something.


  1. I am sure you will be a great shoulder to lean on, voice of reason and man with whom he can share the hilarities and heart-breaks of dating.

  2. One of the great mysteries of life, so it is written, is "the way of a man with a maid".
    The best you can do is encourage him to become a success in business before chasing skirt. This is easier said than done...until you actually show him the kind of man that seeks a mate without being financially prepared...the slums and prisons are full of them!

  3. Interesting you should say that. One of the things I have done is to take him to a drop-in centre for the homeless and indigent. That was quite an education for him. It is true that some people fall on hard times through no fault of their own. It is also true that some people end up destitute, addicted, etc., because of bad choices they make. I can't protect my son completely from things neither of us have any control over, not can I keep him entirely from making bad choices. I just try to let him see what the consequences could be.

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  5. Following Galt-In-Da-Box's thread, maybe a trip to divorce court would be beneficial.

    I hope he has good choice in women.. I have dated too many men who were, I dare say 'ruined', by those that went before me.

    The best way to end up chosing a good mate, in my opinion, is to be true to and honest with yourself, this will lend a hand to objectivity.

    Faith is great, as well, faith that if she doesn't seem like 'the one', there will be another 'one' around the corner.

    I don't miss those days, adolescence and dating is like navigating through land mines.