Saturday, August 25, 2007

Yard Sale

So, this is how I had Saturday morning planned: Get up at 6:30am, wake up the rest of the family, drive alone to my office/warehouse where we have been storing stuff we planned to sell in a yard sale in the large parking lot, drink the coffee and eat the raisin biscuit I would have picked up on the way in, and wait for my wife and son to show up. Then, we would sell every last piece of junk that had outgrown its usefulness or that any one of us should never have bought in the first place.

That was the plan.

It turned out rather differently. It started well enough: I awoke at 6:20am, without benefit of an alarm. I always wake up at or near the time I want to. As usual, a strange dream woke me up. I was in a shopping mall, and as I was walking around I saw an oriental man and his wife having some sort of animated discussion. It appears that wives and husbands of every race have animated discussions sometimes. Some people call these discussions arguments. As I walked by, I noticed that the man had a sort of holster, with two compartments, strapped to his right calf. I glanced at it and continued to walk on. As I turned a corner in the mall, I saw another oriental man. He was holding some sort of futuristic-looking weapon, and he waved it at me as if to ask if it was okay to use it. I nodded yes, and he pointed it at the first oriental man and pulled the trigger. In seconds, there was a two way stream of tiny water globules back and forth between the two men, and I grinned to myself at the fun they were having as they tried to soak each other. I looked around and noticed that no-one else in the mall was smiling. My puzzlement over why the other shoppers couldn't relax and get into the spirit of fun awoke me. It was time to get ready for the big day.

It was cloudy as I left the house. In fact, it was downright overcast, dark and gloomy. Any intelligent person would have gone back into the house and caught another hour of sleep. I decided that selling all of our junk was more important than the risk of rain, so off I went to get started.

By seven-thirty or so, my wife and son, my brother and his wife and two sons were all in my warehouse. Soon, loads of stuff were spread out on tables near the street in front of my office. A few bargain hunters were already on hand, waiting impatiently to see what was going to be in every box of stuff we brought out for sale.

Eventually, everything was out and on display. We made a small sale or two. Then it started to drizzle. Then it stopped. Then it drizzled again. Then it stopped. Then it poured. Then it stopped. Get the idea? We were all soaked. The junk we had for sale was all soaked.

My brother and I loaded up a bunch of stuff in his van and took it to the Value Village store just down the street. They take old stuff and sell it. They took some of our items but refused others because they were wet. Today, my warehouse is again filled with most of the same junk that was there before the yard sale. The difference is that it is now all available for anyone who wants to take any of it home. Whatever is left after two days will go to Goodwill or to the dump.

Yesterday, we went shopping. In one store, I bought a picture frame to be used to display a copy of my son's very first paycheque. I dropped it in the store and it shattered. Not one to take a hint, I then accompanied my wife to do some grocery shopping. At the check-out, one of the watermelons we had selected rolled off the belt and splattered goop everywhere.

I had lots of fun this weekend.

How was yours?


  1. Hope your week is much better than your weekend was.

    Mine was half and half. Saturday was good - Sunday not as good.

  2. Some days you eat the bear. Some days the bear eats you. Sorry.

  3. Wanted to say thank you for the lovely comment you left on my blog.
    I'm guessing you found me through Freddie or HB.

    I like what I've read here so far.
    I'll be back to continue my education!

  4. Today was a much better day, thank goodness. Welcome, Jean... nice to see you!

  5. Seems to be a lot of these kind of days going around lately, doesn't it?

    If I were living closer, I would be at your warehouse ASAP - rarely met a cast-off I didn't like. This became apparent and deadly when we went to move. You are doing it the right way by doing it early on.

  6. lin: one person's cast-offs are another's treasure, right? I'm afraid my stuff is pretty much real junk. I occasionally check out yard sales hoping to find an authentic Gretsch guitar from the fifties or sixties or some other treasure, but I'm afraid that sort of thing always happens to someone else.

  7. that garbage cartoon is hilarious!

    Yeah, I've been cutting a lot of crap loose myself. I think at the point of the watermelon disassembly, I would have gone home and sat quietly with a book.

  8. Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner, but I didn't have a weekend this weekend; I had to work.
    It sucked.