Thursday, September 21, 2006

The First High School Dance

My son is going to his first high school dance Friday night. He is a handsome, self-confident young man, and unless he behaves like a jerk and treats girls with disdain, he should have no problem courting (I guess the current vernacular is 'hooking up') young women at the dance or anytime else. Or is it that he should behave like a jerk and treat girls with disdain to get their attention and adoration; I can't be sure. All the evidence is there that many girls and women connect with boys and men who abuse them mentally or physically or both, and that they appear to do so by design and preference. They like the bad boys, the tough guys, the ones too cool to care about anything and often too stupid to do much else but take up space.

Just another of those things I don't 'get.'

On the other hand, many males pursue girls and women who are vacuous and clueless, but who at least look good while they are taking up their space. Not me. I personally prefer women with a brain, with a sense of purpose, and with a clear understanding of how they fit into the universe. I like the challenge of interaction with an intellectual equal. I like the competition. I just don't want her to pee standing up. By that, of course, I mean to say that men are men and women are women, and we should celebrate our differences, instead of trying to be just like each other.

My son is embarking on a journey of discovery that can be exciting, puzzling, infuriating and even immensely gratifying. Love and sex (please don't be in too much of a hurry for either, son!) are wonderful experiences, but can also be the source of more misery in life than just about anything except sickness and accident. Lucky are those who find that ever-elusive soul mate, and who manage to satisfy both their sexual and intellectual appetites -- with each other.

Life is such a short journey. I hope my son doesn't get waylaid somewhere in his personal quest for happiness, fulfilment, and meaning.

So, Daddy is having all this Angst about a little upcoming high school dance? You bet. I was a teenager myself, once. I trust my son to use good judgement, and to be the young man I wish him to be. But it is a father's job to help his children avoid mistakes, and I will be watching carefully.


  1. I could feel the trepidation in that post, clear through the center of my chest.

    I wish I could explain the badboy syndrome. I think it's as simple as the fiercest ram winning breeding rights.

    Humans are supposed to have transcended their animal instincts. Ah well.

    And the dumb girls? They look good, they make the ram look like he's won.

    I don't know, really. I'm a fairly smart girl who has dated jerks and dumb guys. I wasn't sure why I did it, but I'd have to say that for girls, taming the badboy or controlling the moron can be attractive scenarios, either of which build a girl's pride.. both of which are unhealthy and immature and neither of which lead to anything real.

    Through you, I think your son will have realized the value of having someone to laugh with, debate with, admire and appreciate and treat as an equal, during this formative time, when the ram in him may come alive.

  2. Fun years, aren't they Penny? I'm not sure I would want to relive some of my experiences. On the otherhand, if it meant I could be 45 years younger... perhaps.

  3. My son is going to his first dance, Homecoming, this Friday coming up. Doesn't it seem a little strange to you, to have a son going to a dance, when we just went a few years ago ourselves? And, if he's doing some of the things I thought it was okay to be doing when I was 15, I don't want to hear about it.

    I like what you said about let men be men and women be women. Philosophy has just come out with a fragrance that is unisex: a concept I hate. Why would I wear a scent to smell like a man? Would a man wear high heels? (Do I feel a rant coming on? I think so. :)