Saturday, July 22, 2006

Just wait!

My brother is off on a little holiday somewhere. He won't be around at my birthday next week, so he gave me a birthday card before he left. The front panel asks: "How many guys your age does it take to screw in a light bulb?" The inside reveals the answer. I don't get it, though. It says: "Zero. A guy your age doesn't screw anymore."

What does my age have to do with it? I have always hated doing menial chores like screwing in light bulbs. I pay people to do stuff like that, along with sweeping, shovelling snow and any number of other things. I would, frankly, rather read a book than screw in a light bulb.

What? Oh... That kind of screwing. OK, that does it. Even though my brother's birthday is still nearly four months away, I'm going to start looking for a suitable card right away. Just wait, bro! I'm going to get you back.


  1. A card my mother in law received once:

    "Do you want to make your boobs bigger? Just rub toilet paper on them.

    Don't laugh, it worked for your ass."

    Unfortunately, it doesn't apply to brothers.

  2. That's hilarious. My bro is actually a great guy, but he likes to rub in the fact that he is 4 1/2 years younger.

  3. My brother is also 4.5 years younger than I. They LOVE rubbing things in.

    A Happy Birthday to you for next week, by the way.

  4. "Guys your age don't screw anymore."
    That's too rich!
    Get him a coffin for his birthday, with a card that says "The way you treat me, you're going to need this a LOT sooner than I will!"

  5. I didn't think anyone past the age of eighteen 'screwed' anymore. LOL!

  6. That's the problem with us geezers, Penny, we're not up on the vernacular of the day. 'Having sex' sounds too sterile. 'Making love' doesn't seem to suit those heavy, panting, sweaty episodes when nothing else in the universe seems to matter. "Boinking?' 'Balling?' Of course I'll omit the obvious one because this blog is family rated. No matter what you call it though, it is still fun, even at my advanced age.