Wednesday, January 18, 2006

An Atavist Gripe Break

One of the things that always amazes me is that while we all crave recognition and validation, some of us nevertheless will do everything directly contrary to what we might be expected to do to achieve that end. It's not that we just don't do the things we should do, it is more that we do all the things we shouldn't do. I'm no psychologist or sociologist, but isn't counter-productive behaviour irrational?

I've run businesses, off and on, since I was 17 years old and have had numerous jobs in between. I've had irrational bosses, irrational partners, irrational employees and irrational customers. I've even been (gasp) irrational myself! Yes, many of us can be (and are, mostly) great bosses, partners, employees and customers, and we will behave rationally much of the time. It is that small percentage of yahoos who can be depended upon to do or say exactly the wrong thing every time that infuriates me. And, they don't see their behaviour as a problem. It is everyone else, they think, who is wrong, thin-skinned, thick-headed and near-sighted.

What the hell causes this sort of idiocy? Isn't life complicated enough without it?

I always find it embarrassing when I have to sit down with someone to try to solve some conflict, especially when I think that the situation should never have arisen in the first place. Someone will do or say something untoward and cause thereby some sort of conflict with someone else. Then, I have to deal with the situation. That upsets me. I can get myself into all kinds of trouble, all by myself. I hate it when I have to deal with situations I create by myself. You can imagine how I feel when I have to act as referee to some conflict I had nothing to do with.

Everybody, everybody, will do or say something stupid from time to time. I do. I'm sure you do too. What do you do when that happens? Probably what I do: apologize, make nice, defuse the situation and then, everyone mollified, life goes on. That is not what I am griping about here. What infuriates me are situations where someone will somehow see himself as innocent, all evidence to the contrary notwithstanding. Then, he will refuse to accept responsibility for causing the problem and for doing whatever is necessary to make it go away.

Where the hell is my coffee? I think I should take a break and read someone else's blog posts for a few minutes. That should calm me down.


  1. What you're seeing is the unintended consequence of a public school preoccupation with "self esteem". This dreck made it's way thru American schools in the early and mid 1980s, and basically boils down to vain feel-goodism based on bureaucraTeacher-created delusions of grandeur in the party in question.
    Like most socialistic designer causes and ethical fads, it produced a swath of "Generation Why?" unable and unwilling to cope with the fact they actually ARE capable of fucking up from time to time...Go figure!
    Since the pull-peddlers and looters who think such social engineering from Washington a good idea look reverentially to Canada, I'd imagine the disease has been spreading through the schools there awhile.

  2. You're right, Ted. The motto of our local school system is: Success for every student. That doesn't mean that each and every student will earn an A or B average and actually understand what is on the curriculum, it simply means that regardless of their knowledge and performance, they will always be moved to the next grade. Like you say, they don't understand that in the real world, they will have to take responsibility for their own actions, good or bad, and that they will be judged on their performance and behaviour. That comes as quite a shock to some people.

  3. Mr. Pedde if a new system other than democracy needs to be established in our democratic society then how will it happen?

  4. I honestly don't know, Vishnusaran. I think that we all have the right to elect those who govern us. We should have the right to dictate to them how far their powers extend and to establish curbs on their power.

    The problem is that the electorate always keeps on voting for those who make the biggest promises, always on the presumption that someone else will pick up most of the cost. That is why we end up with government deficits accruing into enormous national debts.

    Also, people are meddlers by nature and want to make everyone live like they do, have the same values, etc. So there are then attempts to restrict what you can read or watch, with whom you can interact, whether or not you can go to church, and even (in the case of Islamic nations) which god you can worship.

    It is a big problem. I don't have all the answers.