This past Sunday, I turned sixty-five years old. Hurrah! That last sentiment, normally expressed with laudatory or congratulatory intent, is here laden with more than a little sarcasm.
Getting old sucks. I'm in pretty good health, overall. Everything still works satisfactorily, so I am less disgusted with my physical and mental state than I am with the fact that my time on earth is slowly running out. My father lived to be 94, my mother 88, so my genetic influences are pretty good, but let's just say that I wish I had fifty or sixty or a hundred more years to live rather than a mere thirty or forty.
Because I am a curious guy. Every day I wake up excited about what the day will bring. I like running my businesses and don't expect to retire, probably ever. I like watching my son grow up and am constantly amazed by all the little things that puzzle, perplex, amuse and sometimes mortify parents around the world. Zach is seventeen, about to turn eighteen. Yes, we're both Leos. I don't believe in astrology but interestingly both my son and I share some of the more stereotypical Leo traits. Like most fathers and sons, we butt heads on occasion, but I have to say that he is turning into an outstanding young man and I am very proud of him.
I am also curious to see if humankind will ever get its collective head out of its fat ass and realize that individual responsibility, rather than delegation of responsibilities to incompetent and corrupt politicians and bureaucrats, is the answer to everything. Why is it that so many of us have so little faith in ourselves that we bind ourselves in servitude to groups of meddlers who are almost always inferior to us in every way?
I don't understand.
Maybe that is why I want to hang around for a long, long, time. I seek understanding every day. Maybe someday I will find it. I am frustrated every day. Maybe some day I will wake up without frustration. Maybe then, I will be ready to 'go.'
I suspect that it will be a long, long, time until the world makes any sense to me. Given that I want to hang around for a long, long, time, I guess that is a convenient co-incidence.
Don't worry that I am letting things eat away at me and that I will become a bitter and disillusioned old man. I take life as it comes and look at it and everything around me with bemusement. I don't always like what I see but I don't let it destroy me. I prefer laughing and loving over grousing and hating.
It's my life. As long as I will be able, I will live it on my terms. I hope that you, dear reader, and I both are around when I write a blog post on the occasion of my hundred-and-thirtieth birthday.