I have been thinking recently about what to to write about on this blog. There are so many things to discuss. There is no shortage of foolishness in the world, giving bloggers much to gripe about in this medium. Because I usually leave commentary on specific events to others, today I would like to return to the larger issue of human interaction, something I seem to revisit often in my blog posts. Specifically, I thought I would expand on a particular point about men, the fact that, unlike most women, we don't like to share, in conversation, issues that trouble or frustrate us. This reticence on our part, sadly, then troubles and frustrates the women in our lives.
I know from personal experience that women are often at a loss to understand why we men don't like to discuss things that are problematic in our lives. Women are much more apt to discuss these things with their friends, or siblings or parents, than are men. Men, on the other hand, like to keep things to themselves. There are reasons for this:
Men see themselves as doers, as problem solvers. If they discuss problems with others, it seems to them to be akin to asking advice. That diminishes their role as efficient problem solvers, so they don't do it. They tough it out instead.
Men often feel embarrassment when they feel that something has gotten out of hand. It means, to them, that they weren't paying attention, or doing their job efficiently. So, they keep things private.
Men like their aggravations and frustrations straight up: no added ice, water or soda. In order to be dealt with properly, a problem has to command the attention of enough brain cells to do the job right. Sharing the issue with someone else takes the edge off it, dilutes it. Then, there is less urgency to actually deal with the problem, because something has already been 'done,' even if it (the sharing) hasn't really accomplished anything.
I am curious about how much of this other men agree with -- it is after all mostly based on my own peculiarities, and on my observations of other men, hardly enough to make scientific psychological generalizations.