Wednesday, March 07, 2007

It all adds up

My son asked me several years ago what mathematics was good for. He didn't like it much as a subject in school and, given the widespread use of calculators and computers, wondered why it was necessary to understand math at all. Ever since, I have been trying to interest him in the subject, often in silly ways, so that he would not repeat my rather poor academic record in the various maths in high school.

My efforts appear to have worked. He now loves math and is talking about majoring in the subject at University, four years from now. I don't think it is so much my lecturing him on the subject that has changed his mind, but instead his realization that math can be both useful and fun.

I often devise little games to help him see the benefits of mathematics. On a recent trip home from his Saturday German School session, we calculated together that based on the computing power (64K) of my first business computer, a Burroughs B80 mini-computer, and on the storage capability (2.3MB) and physical size of the removable disk platters it used, it would take several transport trucks to carry the equipment necessary to equal the computing power and storage of the iPod he has in his pocket. The cost, in 1977 dollars, the year I bought the B80, would be over a million dollars. Today, the iPod model he has, including all taxes and a fancy leather case, costs about $420.00 and plays music and videos, although it isn't designed to compute business functions. To arrive at the answers we got (approximations are used here because of my poor memory) we used multiplication, division, and geometric calculations of area and cubic space.

I'm no mathematician. My academic career, to use the current vernacular, sucked. I was more 'into' the band I played in at the time, the teenage night club I owned at age 17, and girls. Now, like any responsible dad, I want my son to do as I say, not as I did before him. I can't say that my misspent youth held me back in any significant way, but I was lucky. It is so easy for a teenager to screw up his or her life and then pay the price for decades afterwards. I want to spare him the grief and frustration that can accompany mistakes that can happen in the life of any teenager. I'm sure you can imagine more than a few scenarios that would fall into this category. I sure can.

And so I try to interest my son in many things. Math is one. Science is another. History, naturally, is important. In order for us to know where we are going, we need to know where we have been. It keeps us from making the same mistakes over and over again. Or does it? That theory doesn't seem to work on the human race, overall, does it? We are still hating and killing as we have since the dawn of our race, only more efficiently. Oh well, the theory that we should be able to learn from the past still has an appeal to me.

I try to stay close to my son. It is important to me to be able to communicate with him on any subject, including those that would have been taboo with my own father. Sometimes, I feel I am failing miserably. Other times, we suddenly seem to have a connection that is so solid it is almost mystical. It depends on the day and circumstance. And his mood, of course. Teenagers can be moody, can't they?

At about 2:00 am this morning, I awoke suddenly to find my son standing beside my bed. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me he had a stomach ache and couldn't sleep. We went downstairs and watched TV together while he drank some warm juice and waited for the pain to subside. I had no clue what to do, but I don't think that knowing was as important as simply being there with him while he suffered. I didn't mind. I did what dads and mothers should do, be with their kids to help and comfort them. I have taught my son to always wake me up, instead of his mother, if he has a problem. I can get by on much less sleep, have a much more flexible schedule and, above all, can't be fired.

Someday, I won't be needed any more to sit with my son while he has a tummy ache. He will be performing that service for his own kids. But he will always be my son and maybe there will be other ways to stay connected to him. I will be grateful for those moments, whatever they are.

17 comments:

  1. Congrats! Math is so important, and can bring a lot of satisfaction once you start to get it.

    I always wonder why most people never get the chance t learn all the little tricks I learned to do quick math in my head. People always think I'm a genious because I can do simple math in y head. Go figure.

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  2. what a good dad you are, Atavist. what a precious dad.

    i have no concept of the father/son bond, but you opened the door for me today, and i love it.

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  3. Thanks, both! Sylvain, I tried to develop doing as much math in my head as possible decades ago. It helps in making decisions quickly, by avoiding the 'let me go back to my office to run the figures' scenarios.

    Jen, there are times, too many times, when I wonder about how I could be so inept at the whole fathering thing. But I do try. Since I was never really able to communicate in a meaningful way with my own father, I am trying my best to avoid that situation with my son.

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  4. If it was me, I'd take that Cat's in the Cradle song, and work backwards as hard and fast as I can.

    Hey Atavist. can you go over and meet Bob? He blogs at Greens n' Cornbread. He wrote something today that you might have an opinion on.

    Plus, if you haven't yet, I think you two might enjoy meeting.

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  5. You're right, Jen. I enjoyed his post and left a comment. Not surprisingly, I took a somewhat different position than his, but I like his style and his musings. He is on my blogroll, effective immediately.

    Thanks!

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  6. Atavist, I also wanted to get your input on a topic going on in my comments section. Do you still come my way? I haven't seen you around in a while.. but if you get the chance...

    Sorry... if you're not checking mine anymore, I don't mean to put you on the spot. I'd just be curious about your take on this stuff...

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  7. Chani, I'm always there, either from home or work, just haven't commented much recently. I'll have a look, haven't been there today.

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  8. i am a one woman coalition builder.

    thank you. seriously, i thought maybe you'd dig it (and I assumed the alternate view too)

    now you better get your butt over to Chani's place. (how much bossing can i get away with?)

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  9. Atavist, thanks for coming by. I will look forward to reading what you have to say. :)

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  10. I always enjoyed math - there was always a rule for everything. Learn the rule, solve the equation.

    I always tried to encourage my children, not in specific areas, but to do their best in all they did. It was also understood that I expected them to go to college and did everything I could to make it possible for them to go.

    I feel that I failed to achieve what you have - a close relationship with your son. We aren't close in the way you and your son are. But I have always been there when they needed me. I spent nights walking the floor with my infant son (and daughter) when they were sick so my wife could get some rest. I took days off of work to stay at home with them when they had to miss school when sick. I spent nights in my son's hospital room when he was a teenager. They both have come to me when in trouble. They tend to go to my wife to talk about their day to day stuff and save the big things for me. (car wrecks, money trouble, etc.)

    But in my heart of hearts, I wish I could've been as close to them as my wife. In this way I haven't been able to overcome my upbringing.

    I'm working on it.

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  11. Wow. You are such a fantastic father, Atavist! And, such an understanding and thoughtful husband!

    You have my admiration.

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  12. Jen: Men are easily manipulated. A kind word and a helpful suggestion are all it takes.

    Chani: I've been thinking about what you wrote and wonder how many weeks it would take me to address your topic and do it justice. A few fumbled words and incoherent sentences may be all I can muster when I finally get at it.

    Bob: Pleasure to see you here. I have found that the relationship with my son seems to go in cycles. I can remember a blowup when he was about 12, during which I offered to drop him off at the Childrens Aid Society and another where when he was complaining about having to follow my rules, I offered to help him pack so he could find a home more to his liking. Thankfully, we each cooled down.

    What I have found is that when I calm down and realize I may have gone overboard in some fashion, I go to him and tell him that I stand solidly behind my position, whatever it happened to be, but that I was wrong to react as I did and then apologize to him. My own mother taught me that it is wise to apologize when you are wrong, and I have been wrong many times.

    Your son may have a much deeper respect for you than you think. Sometimes our kids just don't know how to share with us how they feel about us.

    Penny: I think I may have to start chronicling all of the ways I have screwed up over the years (and still do) so you don't have this unrealistic image of me. But... I am flattered and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kindness in saying what you do.

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  13. Jen: Men are easily manipulated. A kind word and a helpful suggestion are all it takes.

    Chani: I've been thinking about what you wrote and wonder how many weeks it would take me to address your topic and do it justice. A few fumbled words and incoherent sentences may be all I can muster when I finally get at it.

    Bob: Pleasure to see you here. I have found that the relationship with my son seems to go in cycles. I can remember a blowup when he was about 12, during which I offered to drop him off at the Childrens Aid Society and another where when he was complaining about having to follow my rules, I offered to help him pack so he could find a home more to his liking. Thankfully, we each cooled down.

    What I have found is that when I calm down and realize I may have gone overboard in some fashion, I go to him and tell him that I stand solidly behind my position, whatever it happened to be, but that I was wrong to react as I did and then apologize to him. My own mother taught me that it is wise to apologize when you are wrong, and I have been wrong many times.

    Your son may have a much deeper respect for you than you think. Sometimes our kids just don't know how to share with us how they feel about us.

    Penny: I think I may have to start chronicling all of the ways I have screwed up over the years (and still do) so you don't have this unrealistic image of me. But... I am flattered and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kindness in saying what you do.

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  14. Atavist, never mind. Mai pen rai. I was just curious about your impressions but it's certainly not critical. It was casual conversation. Don't turn it into anything more on my account. :)


    Peace,

    ~Chani

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  15. Chani: No, no, no!! I want to do it. I have to do it. I just want to make sense of it and do a good job. I am going to have to remember whenever I write something like my little quip above that the reader can't see the twinkle in my eye as I write it. I always enjoy being stimulated and you do that well, with your thoughtful posts and the issues you broach.

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  16. You're right. I think it's the fact that there is a screen between us and we can't see inflection. :)

    I'm easy going in general and I might bring up the possibility or ask a question but "I don't want to" is an acceptable answer. Once it seems to be getting stressy, I bow out.

    I'll look forward to whatever you come up with... whenever you choose to come up with it.

    :)


    Peace,

    ~Chani

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  17. I still say, If class warfare ever breaks out, I hope Algebra gets its ass kicked.

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