I don't like it. I'm still not quite in top form, and instead of enjoying the chaos of Panama City, I'm sitting in the Hotel El Panama's 'business center,' reading my email and writing a blog post. I really would have preferred to be up and about by now, and to have done my internet stuff later.
I'm an analytical sort of guy. I am fascinated by the 'whys' and 'wherefores' of life. Being flat on one's back, without the energy to do much except think, gives one pretty much an ideal environment for reflection.
So, what occupied my mind during that time?
Well, a lot of things. Like: Am I nuts? What am I doing? I'm developing land in Panama? Why? I don't need this. Sure, I'm an adrenaline junkie with a strong creative drive, but why aren't I developing something smaller and closer to home?
Good questions, all. And there are good, completely satisfactory answers to all of them. It is just that when part of the human mechanism is out of tune, the rest of the system falters too. It's a good thing that people don't often make decisions when they are out of sorts, or nothing would ever get done.
I don't mean to suggest that I spend a lot of time agonizing about things, whether I'm sick or healthy. No, I make decisions and stick to them. That is my nature. I deal with things, make things work. I just find it odd that a momentary weakness, caused by an ill-mannered and unwelcome bug that chooses to violate my body for a day or two, would have even the slightest effect on my resolve and my purpose. We really are fragile creatures, aren't we?
I suddenly have this powerful need, now, to read the news. What is going on around the globe? Who is blaming whom for what, and how many innocent people have been killed because of it? How are the stock markets doing? What are the latest prices of gold and silver bullion on the spot market? Which world politician has made the most idiotic statement since I last checked? Are Tom and Katie still married? Actually, forget that last question. I really don't give a hoot.
Well, I'm pretty much back to my ornery, curmudgeonly, atavistic self. So here is what I have to say to the world:
"Bring it on, Buster! I'm back in fighting form. Don't even think of tangling with me."
I guess I really do feel better!