My brother is off on a little holiday somewhere. He won't be around at my birthday next week, so he gave me a birthday card before he left. The front panel asks: "How many guys your age does it take to screw in a light bulb?" The inside reveals the answer. I don't get it, though. It says: "Zero. A guy your age doesn't screw anymore."
What does my age have to do with it? I have always hated doing menial chores like screwing in light bulbs. I pay people to do stuff like that, along with sweeping, shovelling snow and any number of other things. I would, frankly, rather read a book than screw in a light bulb.
What? Oh... That kind of screwing. OK, that does it. Even though my brother's birthday is still nearly four months away, I'm going to start looking for a suitable card right away. Just wait, bro! I'm going to get you back.