How to fool 'em all ...

I have made the case, in discussions with friends, that someone who might have been born on the wrong side of the tracks, so to speak, with little education or experience, little or no money, but who might wish to appear educated, cultured, and affluent, can do so easily. We don't hold each other up to very high standards anymore, unfortunately. So, want to advance yourself in this world of ours? It's simple, really. Here is what to do:

Hair

• Males: Never wear a mullet.
• Females: Big hair is out, and has been for eons.

Speech

• Don't use double negatives in speech or writing. Ever.
• Know when to use I and when to use me.
• Know the difference between your and you're.
• Know when to use their, they're or there.
• Know the difference between then and than.
• If, in conversation, you don't know what everyone else is talking about, don't speak.
• In general, spend more time listening than speaking
• Try to keep profanity out of your speaking and writing
• Say please and thank you, and know when each is appropriate

That's it. Follow these simple rules and you will be seen as a classy guy or gal, smarter than average, and a good date/friend/employee prospect.

This has been a public service announcement. You're welcome.